School is almost out!

I’m not being very productive today at work because I’m planning a road trip. I don’t even know if it’s going to be just me or not. I’ve mapped it out, I’ve prioritized what I want to do and even bought some new music for it. My summer schedule is slightly different from I’ve done it in the past. I’m doing full weeks versus three days a week(Mondays and Fridays off).  I’m also feeling motivated to get back on the health track, I’m committed to obtaining an elliptical machine before the end of June.  If I can’t figure out a way to get the one that sits unused in my partner’s basement, I’m going to get a new one.   I really do want to get back on track for physical activity because I’ve gained too much weight that I’ve lost and I’ve noticed the impact of the extra weight on my mobility. I’ve got to get my CSA share ordered, I’ve got to do it before they are sold out. I’m going to make a list of things to do….  I’m so excited about having a little more time to myself.

What’s your plans for this summer? I love possibilities!!!

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for my health

My ipod touch is wonderful and for a while I had some trouble with it. I feared it was the ipod but really it was the headphones.  These were pretty expensive noise isolating earbuds that were lovely but not really needed.  My partner purchased them for me for….valentine’s day…I think. I was really bummed out that they didn’t work but at least it wasn’t the ipod. I was on the look out to replace them. I don’t like the original apple ipod headphones because my ears aren’t big enough and it hurts them when I wear them. I like the ones that are smaller…most of the time they are more expensive. I happened to see a great deal on woot.com that had these great wicked little buds for $3 a piece. I knew they were cheap and often these things break but for $3, I could buy three plus shipping and handling and make out for less than a single pair on Amazon. It’s exactly what I was looking for and way cheap.

Now that my ipod touch is back up and running so I can now go walking. I’ve got the nike plus sensor in a little pocket that I can attach to my laced shoes.  I’ve used it to get out and go walking because after recently reading the study about “older women” who need to either eat less or get out and exercise a HOUR a day to maintain. I’m not sure if I can do a whole hour. I figure if I’m walking 30 minutes a day and maybe I can do an hour during the weekend…it’s better than eating less. So far, I walked over 3 miles on Sunday and 30 minutes Monday and Tuesday. I wonder if I’ll be able to get any walking in today.  I’d really rather sleep right now but maybe I can make myself walk at least 15 minutes. It’s better than nothing. After all, the reason why I’m doing it…is for my health.

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update

It has been a very busy week. I just couldn’t wait for the weekend for my retreat. I had gone once before a little less than two years ago. I went to grieve the loss of my Dad and prepare for a job interview that I really wanted.  I did some great grieving and successfully prepared for the interview for the job that I now have.

I really needed this retreat because I’ve felt emotionally drained and needed some nurturing big time. I love this place because the food is amazing and it’s so peaceful. I had a massage that was incredible.  My first massage was so intense and I’m finally in a place where they aren’t so intense. It’s really hard for me to receive nurturing, let alone ask for it. The woman who did the massage had a wonderful technique and after she finished each spot she …I don’t even know how to describe it well…she rocked my leg or arm…it was just so comforting. She also …lightly touched the sheet that was over me up and down, it made me think of …just how comforting it was as a kid to be put to bed when your parents tucked you in. I think it was some energy type of work and I really needed it. It made me realize that I’m not always the best daughter to my mom. We have a difficult relationship and I am rather wary of her and keep my distance despite knowing that she loves me.

I also had a late night sauna which was really nice with a fresh shower.

The food was delicious. Friday night was a cauliflower cheese dish, green salad and black beans and rice. Hot tea with every meal and dessert too.  Apple crisp with ice cream. Saturday was a green salad, grilled cheese and tomato basil soup. We had a delicious apple and cream cheese dessert. Saturday dinner was ham and potatoes with more salad. They serve fresh brown bread at every meal with homemade apple butter. Normally I don’t eat much bread with my meal but I couldn’t help myself. For dessert we had chocolate cake and peppermint ice cream. Sunday was brunch of waffles with strawberries and cream, fresh fruit and sausage. More hot tea and more apple crisp.

Everything was wonderful except I learned that my partner and I have very different ways of  “retreating”. I think next time I should go alone.

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20 New Year Resolutions

Here’s the list from Frank Lipman MD,  is the founder and director of the Eleven Eleven Wellness Center in NYC a center whose emphasis is on preventive health care and patient education.

20 New Year Resolutions (click to read more on the article)

1. More Real Food, Less “Food-like Substances”
2. More Fruit and Vegetables, Less Sugar, Wheat and Corn
3. More Organic, Less Toxic
4. More Chewing, Less Eating
5. More Water, Less Soda
6. More Recycling, Less Waste
7. More Walking, Less Driving
8. More Exercising, Less Watching TV
9. More Outdoors, Less Indoors
10. More Sleep, Less Worry
11. More Calm, Less Chaos
12. More Being, Less Doing
13. More Consciousness, Less Ignorance
14. More Smiles, Less Anger
15. More Love, Less Hatred
16. More Play, Less Serious
17. More Letting Go, Less Holding On
18. More Forgiving, Less Blaming
19. More Generosity, Less Greed
20. More Ubuntu, Less Me!

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What I’m needing lately

I’m a giver, I enjoy being able to give to people. I don’t need much in return. Sometimes that can get me into trouble, in a relationship I might over compensate for the other person. In my marriage, I took charge of everything. My now ex-husband may have felt he could do less (and I felt he did) because I took care of everything. If it becomes to unequal, I can grow resentful. This is not good for me or them. In the last few years, I’ve gone through some traumatic losses which have been the most difficult in my life. I’ve gotten through it, grown from it and now have learned to catch myself before I grow resentful. I’ve got great stamina but that shouldn’t stop me from taking care of myself. I think I’ve finally figured out how to recognize when I need some nurturing, support and extra kindness.

The bigger thing is to be able to ask for help or nurturing from other people.  When I got my first massage a few years ago, I could hardly hold myself together. I had attended a womens retreat and they had massages available and I signed up for 30 minutes.  Looking back, I feel a little embarrassed but recognize it was a time for huge growth. The poor nun who provided the massage was wonderful despite my bawling on the table and going way over my 30 minutes. I had such a hard time allowing someone to nurture me, to touch me and give me support. I don’t know if I felt I was unworthy or what it was.  The following year, I signed up for 60 minutes and only cried a little bit. I’ve had two more hours since then without tears.

In a few weeks, I’m going on another retreat at a retreat center run by nuns whose mission it is to provide hospitality and a place for retreats for people in need. That is me! We have passed an anniversary of deep loss, I’ve had to hold in some of my sadness to allow the room for another’s sadness. This I did out of love and recognition of how difficult anniversaries of loss is from my own deep loss from the year before. Trying to provide that space for grieving is so difficult when you have your own feelings of loss. Grief is such hard and heavy work.

I celebrate that I can ask for my nurturing even though it’s uncomfortable.  I celebrate that I have the resources (time, money and desire) to find what I need.

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Beginning of the new year – ambition for new plans

One of the things that I want to do this year is take better care of my body. I’ve always felt like a walking head, thinking more than feeling and being really disconnected from the rest of my body but I want to change that. I want to eat better, move more and eat real food….not the fake stuff. I want to put more effort into things that are important to me instead of doing just enough to get by.

Here’s an article that gives suggestions of 11 higher quality food that I would like to incorporate more into my diet. It makes sense to me and I want to be more intentional about what I eat. If anyone has any good ideas for simple recipes, I’d love to hear them.

Here’s the 11 foods:

1. Beets
2. Cabbage
3. Swiss Chard
4. Cinnamon
5. Pomegranate juice
6. Dried plums (like the article says, I might just drink this)
7. Pumpkin seeds
8. Sardines (maybe not this….I don’t like fish)
9. Turmeric
10. Frozen blueberries
11. Canned pumpkin

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